A Girl's Guide to Sex Toys - Part Eight

We have pretty well been around the sex toy world in this series, and when I asked our reader's group if they had any requests, I was asked, "Well, what's left?"

More than you realize!

Davecat and his "wife"

I was swinging between two different ideas and then I watched a repeat episode of My Weird Addiction, or whatever that show is (I don't watch a ton of TV sorry if I am getting it wrong) and there was a dude on there addicted to his SEX DOLL.

He was "MARRIED" to her, had even bought himself and the doll matching wedding bands that said "Synthetic Love Forever."

Yeah - nut job, and apparently after the film crew left, he ordered himself another "wife" online.

So anywho, that made the ole melon start churning.  Most of the toys here are a "Synthetic Love" in one way or another, and perhaps he wasn't so nutsy after all.  Wait, yeah he was.  But anyway.

The sex doll originated in the seventeenth century, used by French and Spanish sailors on long voyages.  Typically made of sewn fabric or old clothes, the dame de voyage (French) or dama de viaje (Spanish) were apparently better than hitting up another sailor on board.  Hell, after a year or more at sea, I am sure a bunch of rags was better than the other unwashed scallywags on board.  Body odor alone helped prevent ass rape, I am sure.

The earliest appearance of the sex doll in literature is 1908, when a dame de voyage was discussed in Iwan Bloch's The Sexual Life of Our Time.  He also discussed the newly invented process of vulcanization being put to the test in European countries to produce some of the first rubber sexual devices.

Bild Lilli

The first sex doll to be marketed as such was made in 1955 in Germany.  Bild Lilli was a rubber doll that came in two sizes, tall and small, and was the hypersexualized version of a German cartoon character, Lilli.  Meant to be a gag gift, "for the man who couldn't afford the real thing", it was marketed to bars and tobacco shops, as it was not suitable for play by children.  But children are the ones who latched on to the small doll, and  a couple of years later, Mattel bought the rights to the doll and German production stopped....as soon as Barbie came onto the market.

So, big boobs, little waist, and air head....Barbie, the first sex doll.

By the 1970's, vinyl, latex, and silicone had been created, opening the doors on better materials to produce the dolls with, at a lower cost.

Cheap blow up type dolls are still the bulk of the production and the most purchased sex dolls.  Typically under $100, these items have found their way into popular culture as a gag gift and a punchline in Hollywood comedies.  Usually made from vinyl, their seams are welded together (which tend to split after a few uses) and the vagina or penis is often not so lifelike.

A REAL DOLL!!  Seriously...

At the other end of the spectrum, you find the super expensive "Real Dolls" at about $6K, like the one shown off as a wife.  Made of silicone, it is modeled after a real human and can be quite lifelike.  Handpainted glass eyes, wigs, an customizable features are just the start. They are so realistic, that it is almost hard to tell in photographs that they are not really human!  Well at least the female ones...the male ones need a little more work.


But then again, if they were even bigger, and had more muscularity, there would be no way to heft the suckers around!  But if I am going to have a fake man, he better be a big delicious hunk of plastic, not look wimpy, wimpy, wimpy!

But I think I want one.  I really do.  He can sit in the passenger seat of my car so I can use the HOV lane all I want.

Hey, I travel a lot!

Anywhoooooo....now, there are other body parts that are sold separately for the use of sex that could be listed under the title of sex doll as well.  You can buy a replica of a famous porn queen's vagina, or a porn king's butt.  But considering that a dildo is part and parcel with that, could it be said those body parts are just the male version of the dildo?  I don't know....but let's just say, they are out there....and you can pigeonhole them anywhere you want.

And, wouldn't a Fleshlight be part of this category too? 

You don't know what a Fleshlight is?  Oh my, they are all the rage...a flashlight shaped holder, and when you unscrew the cap, you can have either a mouth-, vagina-, or anus-shaped hole to stick your wiener in.  And for all those Avatar fans, they even have a blue alien vagina Fleshlight.


But if your man prefers a woman with a little bite, then this one may be the one for him!

And yes, that one is in a can, not a flashlight shell....seems the manufacturers have found a new gimmick....


That's right!   BEER CANS!!!  What guy could resist plunging his meat into a beer can??  They are going to make a MINT!

Now, that's some lady! 

Okay, so we have seriously veered off the trail here...but what a fun ride.  Time for the safety message - use common sense and do a VERY thorough job of cleaning your toys afterwards.  For some of the higher end toys even come with specialized cleaning kits you can purchase for an additional cost.  And there was even a "used toy" cleaning kit for that person who just couldn't afford to buy a Real Doll brand new. (Ewwwwww!)

Of course, as I research toys, I come across some really out there stuff...they can make a blow-up doll in the "likeness" (if you want to call it that) of just about any celebrity.  But Sarah Palin?  Really?  Who the hell wants to eff her?!?  All kinds of weird body parts, vags,butts, and....feet?  Wow.  And of course, there was a male blow up doll with no package....what was the point?  And then the Redneck blowup doll was pretty funny stuff too!  And that lizard thing.  Don't even ask because I can't figure that one out!!

And the final item....a child's toy that looks awfully familiar.